a little case of kitchen envy

I think I figured out the reason that my kitchen and I aren’t getting along lately.

You know how you shouldn’t say things behind someone’s back?  Well, I think my kitchen must have overheard the things I was saying about my friend’s beautiful kitchen.  And then she decided that if she wasn’t my favorite kitchen, then I wasn’t her favorite baker named Laura.  But really, can you blame me?

my kitchen.

my dream kitchen. aka my friend Jill's newly remodeled kitchen. aka my kitchen's arch nemesis.

We had a little heart to heart.  It went something like this, 

“Kitchen, I know you are feeling sad right now.  I realize that I probably said some things that hurt your feelings.  But sometimes we have to face a hard truth.  You are not as great as some other kitchens.  And you never will be.  But that is not your fault.  I do love you just the way you are.  You might have ugly orange window treatments.  You might have dishes that were just washed piled up high with no butler/housekeeper to put them away for me.  You might not have any counter space.  But you know what?  We have still had some good times together.  Remember the time we dripped cheesecake on the bottom of the oven and it smoked for years and the smoke detector kept shouting, “FIRE!  FIRE!”  every time I turned on the oven?  Remember the time we made homemade oreos and people loved us for them?  Remember all the cupcakes?  Remember the time we almost died from accidentally OD-ing on chipotle peppers?  Remember the time we bonded for nearly 72 hours straight making jungle themed baked goods?  We have a shared a lot of smiles and a lot of tears.  You might not be as pretty or as spacious or as shiny and new as other kitchens.  But at least we have each other.  Don’t let go of that.  Because someday I will be letting go of you.  You are a rental, remember?  We need to embrace each moment we have together.  Never give up.  Never surrender.  We’re all in this together.”

And then I bought her flowers.  Whether or not we are ready to move on, to forgive and forget, no one knows.  Time will tell.

I think she likes them.

In the meantime, I will continue to cheat on my kitchen whenever possible, visiting other kitchens that still like me.

3 thoughts on “a little case of kitchen envy

  1. Truth: Our kitchen with the 1980s stove and the white apartment-style cabinets is the least glamorous kitchen ever. But even though I suspect that our oven has some major hot spots, I try to send it good vibes so it knows how much I love it. How stressful.

  2. I know exactly how you feel about your kitchen. I do not like mine with the yellowing cabinets, the brown sink, the leaky faucet, the formica countertops. And…are you ready for this? I’ve lived with this kitchen since 1984. She is mine, not a rental. She needs a make-over. But alas, money seems to be funneled elsewhere, like into new doors and windows, a new furnace…

    But back to your kitchen and your post. This was so well-written and clever that if you owned this kitchen, I would encourage you to seek out a kitchen make-over contest because surely you would win.

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