Save the Squirrels!

Tonight as I went for a walk in my neighborhood, I was overwhelmed by all the nature in suburbia.  First, there was a squirrel on the forest floor, then there was the butterfly by the flowers, the turtle crossing the driveway, the puppy on a leash, and another squirrel crossing the road down yonder.  Instead of enjoying this trek into the wilds of the neighborhood, I just kept reliving the harrowing experience of little kitty turned squirrel-murderer.  I am not as concerned about the turtle – it probably can snap.  The butterfly can just flit away, and the puppy, well it would for sure win against the cat.

But that squirrel?  Those innocent squirrels?  When I saw the first one, I just wanted to shout, “Run away, little buddy!  Run as fast as you can!”  When I saw the second one, actually IN the street, so similar to the scene of the crime of last week, I just wanted to invite the poor little squirrel home with me, to safety.

And then I wondered, “does the squirrel even know the danger it is in?  Someone needs to tell it!”  Then I pictured myself picketing the streets with signs, “Save the squirrels” and “Cats are not your friend!”  so that they will know.  But then I got to wondering, can squirrels even read?

So now I have decided that one of my summer hobbies will be holding summer school, literacy focused classes, at the local parks around the cities, teaching squirrels to read, so I can make signs to inform them of the eminent danger they are in from orange cats.

A winning idea, for sure.




6 thoughts on “Save the Squirrels!

  1. You are ridiculous in the best possible way! I laughed all the way through this. But, I don’t know if I’m more concerned about these thoughts running through your head or the apparent plethora of related graphics indicating that other people share your craziness.

    Who would have ever thought that a young girl terrified of chipmunks would one day grow up to become a squirrel advocate.

    • Thank you, thank you. As I was typing this, I thought, “What if someone thought I was serious??”

      And I also was flabbergasted by the graphics available when one searches, “save the squirrels”

      And yes, I have come along way.

  2. Does this job pay well? Does it also come with mandatory rabies shots? Do you need to dress as a squirrel to gain their confidence? Just a few thoughts…

    • Callee, this could be a great alternative to summer school for you. And you are a genius – dressing like squirrels to gain their trust will be key. I will begin sewing our squirrel costumes right away.

  3. do you think this class could also include the rules of stalking and how it’s not acceptable in society? let me explain. there is a squirrel on campus that sees me every morning when i get off my bus and proceeds to follow me all around campus. it’s like he wants to attack me, but i have squirrel guard on or something. for this reason, squirrels are one of my least favorite things in the whole entire world and part of the reason I like Europe so much (for the lack of squirrels).

    thank you for considering this request.

    • We are still developing the curriculum, so thank you for the prompt feedback. I will look into an anti-stalking campaign. I learned in a movie last night that if you have to stalk someone, they probably didn’t actually want to be your friend in the first place. Maybe we will watch this movie and then have discussion groups afterwards, including questions such as, “how can you, as a squirrel, relate to Sandra Bullock’s character?” and “what life changing lessons can you learn, without needing to spend time in an abandoned mine, like the characters in the movie?”

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