Cats: a phobia in 3 parts

Part 1: A Dramatic Re-telling of a childhood incident.

When I was a somewhat small child (I really have no idea at what age this occurred) a vicious neighbor cat (think: part tiger) steathily crept into my playhouse (read: epic treehouse built on stilts above my sandbox with a stairway up and a slide down.  My dad is awesome.)  Anyways, back to the cat.  The cat once again somehow picked the lock and took up residence in our tiny backyard home.  My dad, the hero, bravely climbed those child-sized steps and helped Evil Crazy Cat Claws make his exit.  Unfortunately, this knight in shining armor’s armor did not cover his hand, and the cat did not want to leave (understandably – our playhouse was SWEET) and the cat viciously attacked my dad’s hand and he was whisked away to receive medical care where it was bandaged and did not fall off.  Thus begins my fear of cats.

My fear of cats was not helped by the somewhat creepy longhaired cat belonging to my piano teacher, who lounged demurely on the cross-stitched pillows while I tickled those ivories. (the cat lounged, not my piano teacher.  I am not sure if that was clear)

P.S.  this tale is told according to childhood memories which may or may not be accurate.

Part 2: Cats are ok.

When I lived with some cats during my senior year of college, they taught me that 1) cats puke.  2) cats are ok.  3) cat nip is fun.  4) cats are nice.

My list of favorite cats includes: Thunder Cat, Symba, and Snowflake.  They are the only cats who have ever taken the time to befriend me.

Part 3: Cats should be avoided at all costs.

I thought all was well in the world of me and cats, and then I went on a walk in Amber’s neighborhood.  We saw a cute fluffy orange cat prancing around.  I envisioned it to be the type of cat you might think that wears a tutu and sings Disney songs in its free time.  Unfortunately, it proved otherwise.  Soon we saw it chasing a squirrel across the street.  Then we saw it pouncing on said squirrel.  Then we saw the squirrel die, and the cat chased after us with it dangling from his mouth.  Amber feared for my life as I crept in closer to get this pic for you.  Warning.  Not for the faint of heart.  Shield your eyes if need be. 

And now, I don’t know what to think about cats.  Our relationship is like a rollercoaster.  First they are scary, then they are nice, then they creepily chase me down the street carrying dead animals.

Maybe you can help me…


6 thoughts on “Cats: a phobia in 3 parts

  1. Maybe that squirrel was going to attack you, and that cat SAVED YOUR LIFE.

    Ever think of that, huh??

    I like cats because they hang with us not because its bred into their bones, like dogs, but just because they find us amusing. They always remain predators, even the fluffiest lap cat, which can be disturbing at times.

    • Interesting theory! I did have a fear of chipmunks for a period of a childhood (another story for another day) so perhaps the cat didn’t know I have long since recovered from that fear and it was indeed trying to save me… 🙂

  2. We had a stray black cat in our backyard last week. It was playing with something black that moved through the grass. The cat’s paw would pat, pat, pat. The cat’s eyes looked rather fierce. I did not like this crouching cat.

    I made my husband search the lawn for a dead animal once the cat departed (meaning left, not died). He found nothing.

    Yesterday I think I saw the same black cat sitting on the window sill inside my neighbor’s house.

    I can only hope this cat does not catch a squirrel (ugh/ick) or a rabbit.

  3. Oy vey, I loved the storytelling until evil orange kitty killed the poor nut loving squirrel! That is exactly why Kai is not allowed outdoors. Maybe you can add him to your nice kitty list one day. Just don’t ever try to make him go indoors if he ever escapes…you may have a reenactment of your poor dads hand.

  4. The picture terrifies me! You were so brave to get close…I will probably never walk down that street by myself again!

  5. I’m pretty sure that your recollections in #1 are 100% accurate, based on my own childhood memories. Also, so gross and weird.

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