Part 1: A Dramatic Re-telling of a childhood incident.
When I was a somewhat small child (I really have no idea at what age this occurred) a vicious neighbor cat (think: part tiger) steathily crept into my playhouse (read: epic treehouse built on stilts above my sandbox with a stairway up and a slide down. My dad is awesome.) Anyways, back to the cat. The cat once again somehow picked the lock and took up residence in our tiny backyard home. My dad, the hero, bravely climbed those child-sized steps and helped Evil Crazy Cat Claws make his exit. Unfortunately, this knight in shining armor’s armor did not cover his hand, and the cat did not want to leave (understandably – our playhouse was SWEET) and the cat viciously attacked my dad’s hand and he was whisked away to receive medical care where it was bandaged and did not fall off. Thus begins my fear of cats.
My fear of cats was not helped by the somewhat creepy longhaired cat belonging to my piano teacher, who lounged demurely on the cross-stitched pillows while I tickled those ivories. (the cat lounged, not my piano teacher. I am not sure if that was clear)
P.S. this tale is told according to childhood memories which may or may not be accurate.
Part 2: Cats are ok.
When I lived with some cats during my senior year of college, they taught me that 1) cats puke. 2) cats are ok. 3) cat nip is fun. 4) cats are nice.
My list of favorite cats includes: Thunder Cat, Symba, and Snowflake. They are the only cats who have ever taken the time to befriend me.
Part 3: Cats should be avoided at all costs.
I thought all was well in the world of me and cats, and then I went on a walk in Amber’s neighborhood. We saw a cute fluffy orange cat prancing around. I envisioned it to be the type of cat you might think that wears a tutu and sings Disney songs in its free time. Unfortunately, it proved otherwise. Soon we saw it chasing a squirrel across the street. Then we saw it pouncing on said squirrel. Then we saw the squirrel die, and the cat chased after us with it dangling from his mouth. Amber feared for my life as I crept in closer to get this pic for you. Warning. Not for the faint of heart. Shield your eyes if need be.
And now, I don’t know what to think about cats. Our relationship is like a rollercoaster. First they are scary, then they are nice, then they creepily chase me down the street carrying dead animals.
Maybe you can help me…