Preparing for Target Field

Today I will help you be a baseball boyscout: always prepared for all baseball game scenarios.

Know the forecast and dress accordingly. Don’t be dismayed if it is cold. This will just give you the opportunity to wear your cute Twins sweatshirt and use your sister’s team-themed blanket. Hot weather games will come and you will miss the days of cool breezes. 

Pack light, but pack full. I like this game day bag. It is brown so I can be footloose and fancy-free and put it on the ground in front of me. In it, I pack a sealed water bottle, my camera, mittens, my glasses, my wallet, phone, sunglasses, and snacks. If you want to celebrate the day after Earth Day by bringing a large tupperware container of caramel corn, don’t let your family’s mocking get you down. If you are looking for tips on effectively packing a bag, I would recommend watching Mary Poppins. Julie Andrews has taught me everything I know on the subject.

Bring your ticket. Simple, but devasting if you forget this step.

If you are lucky, your dad will bring cold cut sandwiches from Subway and you will feel like you are 9 again, which might be the last time you had a cold cut sub. If your dad is not attending the game with you, plan to empty your bank account to buy your dinner. Ball park food can be tasty, but undoubtedly pricey.

You should be ready to enjoy the game, but in case it is a slow moving game, here are some conversation topics.

**Note that these topics are taken directly from my eavesdropping on the two men sitting next to me at today’s game (see picture above for context):

  1. Your previous visits to Target Field
  2. Torts and Contracts
  3. The cars your dads drove while you were a kid
  4. Bullying and the effects of social media on bullying
  5. How you will homeschool your kids to protect them from said bullying
  6. The shift in education from memorization to thinking skills
  7. If someone put a gun to your head right now and forced you to take a test, what would it be on?
  8. NCAA
  9. Throwing quarterbacks
  10. Joe Mauer: He is tall, handsome, and hits homeruns.
  11. The baseball draft
  12. Does every team have a Cabrera?
  13. Last names ending in S.  What is the proper way to make that plural?
  14. Smurfs.  How did the smurf race carry on with only one female?  It raises some interesting questions.  For example: did she lay eggs?
Then again.  If none of those interest you, you can always just watch the game.
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4 thoughts on “Preparing for Target Field

  1. Assuming by #2 they are law students, there’s no telling of their brain function capacity at this time of the year… I completely sympathize with their short attention spans and lack of cohesive thoughts.

  2. I’ve got to say, I’m seriously mystified by the range of conversation topics covered by those men next to you! Especially the homeschooling/smurf choices. Like…what?

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