Conversations of ridiculous proportion:
Conversation 1:
Teacher: (pointing at crayon writing on the floor next to a child’s rest time spot) What is this?
Student 1: I don’t know! I didn’t write it
Student 2: She didn’t write it! I didn’t write it either. We didn’t see who wrote it.
Student 1: Yeah, we don’t know.
Student 2: Somebody probably came in the night when it was all locked and wrote it.
Student 1: yeah, that’s it!
Teacher: (seeing this is going nowhere productive) So, like maybe a rabbit came in and wrote it?
Student 2: Or a killer man.
Teacher: In a school? I don’t think so
Student 2: Maybe it was a teacher!
Teacher: No, a teacher would know better
Student 2: Yeah, ’cause a teacher wouldn’t want to get fired, so they wouldn’t want to write on the floor.
Student 1: Yeah, you wouldn’t want to be fired. All you want is to be our teacher.
Student 2: Yeah, you just want to help us learn.
Student 2: Once a killer came into my house and stole everything out of my fridge. I have a beer in my fridge in my room.
Teacher: What? You don’t drink it, right?
Student 2: No, it’s my uncles. He put my fridge in the garage. We have a mouse in our garage. He’s my pet. I call him Mousey Mouse. Or Mousy Dude. I don’t put my finger in the trap.
Teacher 2: Well, that went well.
Yep – got that graffiti ALL figured out.
Conversation 2:
Student: What color is this?
Teacher: Turquoise
Student: That’s funny. Why would Jesus call this color turquoise?
Conversation 3:
Teacher: Good job! How did you figure that out?
Student: Well, my mom says I’m smart!
Conversation 4:
Teacher: If you don’t hurry, I will have to choose someone else to do this activity with me.
Student: No! Don’t pick somebody else. You are my bestestest friend!
Conversation 5:
Teacher: Here is the picture of me with a Twins player!
Student: Wow! Maybe he can come read to us!
Teacher: That would be really great!
Student: OR, maybe you can marry him!
Teacher: I’ll see what I can do.
p.s. the little girl that says I am her best friend, brought me this card today. The front was a picture of flowers and this was on the inside:
My educational assistant also got one, but all her’s said was, “you are a wonderful helper” we laughed at their description- she is wonderful, but she is also definitely a legit licensed teacher…
Oh my word! Conversation #1 is maybe the best thing I’ve ever read! I have no idea how you don’t pull all of your hair out every day…
Today I nearly did. Instead of pulling out my hair, I chose to roll my eyes and die laughing on the inside instead. It helps that I gave up early on with the teaching for the day. No one was listening. We did a lot of alphabet aerobics and testing instead.